My 24-year-old daughter, Kiah, called on March 28 with the wonderful news that her boyfriend, Dayton, had proposed. It's been four years since the last Vik wedding and Keith and I aren't getting any younger so if our children don't want their kids to have old grandparents, they should get married sooner, rather than later.
Sooner, rather than later. I should be careful what I wish for. They decided to get married on July 12, which at the time was 3 and 1/2 months away.
At first I panicked. Weddings are a lot of work and we didn't have much time. I barely slept that night. I got up in the middle of the night and started making to-do lists. I finally calmed down by telling myself that to get married, all one needs is a minister, a bride, a groom, and two witnesses. Everything else is extra. If things get done, great. If not, they would still get married.
We're really happy with how things turned out so I want to share about this blessing in increments. Today will be a little background.
Kiah had not dated for four years after a painful breakup in 2009. She focused on college, work, fitness, faith, friends, and enjoying her family.
For a few years she had no interest in a relationship. If a guy looked at her twice, she quit talking to him. She said married people were boring. Thought her married friends were settling, that there were more exciting things to do than get married. I knew when she met the right person, she'd change her mind.
Two years ago in 2013, Kiah went to work for the summer at the Bible camp where Andrew worked. Andrew confided that he hoped to set Kiah up with someone. I recommended that he not tell her, because if she got wind of his matchmaking, the match would be over before it began. Ironically, one of the people Andrew had in mind was Dayton's brother. Right family, wrong brother.
Kiah called home to talk about her summer. She said there were no guys she was interested in. So what else was new? She hadn't been interested for awhile so that didn't surprise me. I asked who she had enjoyed getting to know. She mentioned a few people and then said there were three brothers that she really liked. She said they were nice, fun, hard working, funny, and everyone liked them.
Kiah returned to camp the next summer (2013) She called to talk about her summer and said, "You don't have to worry Mom. There's nobody here I'm interested in."
I told her I wasn't worried. I firmly believe God is my children's matchmaker and does a much better job in that department. I trust God for His timing.
We talked a month later and she confided in me that she was interested in the youngest of the three brothers she had gotten to know the previous summer.
She was concerned that he was four years younger than her and wondered if that was okay. I told her that once people get past high school, age doesn't matter as much. Maturity doesn't always correlate with age. I know young people who are mature and old people who aren't.
I went to camp six weeks later to see my new granddaughter. Kiah asked if I would pray with her about her interest in Dayton. She wanted to trust God and didn't want to get weird. She asked if I thought it was okay for her to ask him out.
I didn't know what to say. When I was young, guys did the asking. It had been so long since I dated that I wasn't sure what was acceptable now. Andrew said it was okay so she decided to take a risk. I wouldn't have been that brave.
She asked Dayton to hang out and they did, but it was very awkward. He later confessed to being scared. He liked her but wasn't sure he wanted to pursue a relationship at the time.
|Picture taken by a fellow camp member the first time they hung out|
After camp they started corresponding online. They used up more than their fair share of Facebook's personal message space. Dayton lived in Florida so they were a long way apart. Kiah was unsure for a few months how he felt about her.
On December 23, Dayton called to ask Keith's permission to date our daughter. Keith had never met Dayton so wasn't sure what to say, but based on his children's endorsement who did know Dayton, he gave his blessing.
Two days later, on a Skype date, Dayton sang her a song and asked her to be his girlfriend. She was ecstatic, happy to know that he returned her affections.
Kiah and Anna went to visit Dayton and his family in January.
First official date
The visit went well. Dayton visited in February but spent much of that time with our family when Keith's mom passed away.
Dayton's family is bigger than ours so I figured we wouldn't overwhelm him. But we did anyway. Turns out a big family with mostly brothers is way different than a big family with mostly girls. Girls are a whole different breed.
I knew they were talking about getting married but no movement had happened in that area. I don't endorse pushing people into marriage, but if they wanted to get married this summer, the sooner he asked her the better. I decided to quit worrying because worrying makes me weird and doesn't fix anything.
Unbeknownst to us, Dayton had called Keith to ask permission to marry Kiah. Kiah went to visit Dayton's family again in March and this is when he proposed. Dayton fixed her a nice dinner, wrote her a very sweet song, and asked her to marry him. Very creative and romantic.
We were all very excited. Andrew would finally get a brother after wanting one for 22 years. The sisters were amazed at Kiah's about-face. From thinking married people were boring to wanting to get married as soon as possible. We all liked Dayton and looked forward to July 12 when he would join our family.
Stayed tuned for more installments in the Kiah and Dayton saga.