Happy Anniversary To Us

28 years and holding

Who da thunk?

January 22 is:

Sanctity of Human Life Sunday
National Blonde Brownie Day - I kid you not
My late Father-in-law's birthday

And last but not least:  The 30th anniversary of our first date

I'm glad I didn't know Keith in his purple plaid polyester suit wearing days. 

He had improved considerably by the time I met him.

Keith and I started dating January 22, 1982. You can read the nitty gritty details here.  We didn't hit it off well at first. I thought he was a nerd. He thought I was ditzy. He was pretty rigid and I was hopelessly fluid. I noticed his gray flowered shirt and assumed his Mother bought his clothes. 

I know better now. He picks out his own clothes and loves flowered prints. When he preaches Sunday mornings, I look at him and marvel. One Sunday he's in a suit coat, the next he wears an ugly sweater. Sometimes he shows up in a dress shirt and tie, or a sweater vest, or an Hawaiian shirt. 

I think he closes his eyes and reaches into the closet and wears whatever his hand lands on. 

 I rest my case. 

Anyway, back then I also noticed his eyes. Later when we were dating I told him I liked his blue eyes. He claimed they were green and we argued for years over their color. 

We now have a blue-eyed daughter and a green-eyed son. 

An early memory is a spur-of-the-moment evening drive to Red Rocks Amphitheater in Morrison, Colorado. Before seat belt laws, a bunch of our college friends crammed into a suburban. Keith, another guy, and I squished into the space behind the back seat. 

A smidge awkward since I didn't know either guy. The guy on the right had a girlfriend and wasn't interested in small talk. Keith, on the left, being the poster child for Serious Students Inc. wouldn't talk either. I made sure to grab a different seat on the way home. 

We started being friends on a double-date. Keith asked my friend to our Fall Banquet and his friend asked me.

A month later, when he heard I didn't have enough money to attend a Josh McDowell conference, paid my way. We still rarely talked at this point so he was just being nice.

At Christmas, home-bound students crammed into a fellow student's car to ride to the airport--his destination Iowa, mine California. Bad weather cancelled flights and we spent the night in the airport, him on one concourse, me on another. If we'd only known then that we'd get married three years later we could have visited and got better acquainted. 

As I mentioned before he was a serious guy. Serious about his faith and his studies. Focused, intense, and very responsible. Though he was older, I was a year ahead in school.

Somewhere in the spring of 1981 he must have realized there was more to me than the ditzy person he thought me to be. We played games in the student union with friends and every so often would end up talking afterwards. Once he even walked me to my dorm.

Then one day he asked me to pray with him. We walked up to this pretty spot on campus and prayed together. Something happened that day but I didn't understand what. I wasn't interested in him but looking back I know that our hearts had started to knit together. 

We played many games of Rook and Dutch Blitz with friends and he started to loosen up. At the school year's end, he happened to be walking into the Spring Banquet the same time as me and two friends so he sat at our table and hung out with us the rest of the evening. 

My friends had the bright idea of staying up the whole night. Keith had never done this before or since and knowing him now, I'm surprised he agreed. We even toilet papered a friend's house which was another first and only for him. 

My first "Whoa Nellie" moment came after we'd known each other a whole school year, getting acquainted in small increments. One night I asked him for a ride to my friend's house. I explained where I needed to go and asked if that was on his way. He said it was, which was a bold-faced lie. I later learned it was an hour drive both ways. 

At the risk of sounding corny, it was an enchanted evening. We had a good conversation and when we got to my friend's house no one was there. We played backgammon while we waited. I remember being drawn to him but feeling confused because up until that point I had never been interested in him. I looked at him, noticing again his blue eyes, and wondered if he affected everyone that way or was it only me. 

Before we left for the summer, me to California, he to a summer missions' trip to England, he stopped by my dorm to give me two take-your-faith seriously books. 

He sent two postcards from England but except for the backgammon night nothing really had sparked between us. Just a friendship for which I was thankful. He was a neat guy and I had learned a lot from him. 

School started in the fall and I was a junior and he was a sophomore. I expected to pick up where we left off but something had changed. No games, no jokes, no conversations. He sat in front of me in a class for half the semester and didn't talk to me.

In November, a switch went off and he started talking to me again. And they say girls are hard to figure out! Gradually we started talking more. A friend asked if I liked Keith as it seemed like we got along well. I assured her that wasn't the case, stating that we were just friends. 

So on January 22, 1982, after a year and a half of being friends, when he finally stammered out that he was interested in me I was truly in shock. I had honestly thought we were just friends, but as soon as he spoke up I immediately knew that I wanted to be more than friends.  

I'm historically an indecisive person. I agonize over decisions and make long convoluted pro and con lists. This was one of the few times in my life when I didn't hesitate. I thought about what I knew of him, his responsible, steady, stable character and without a doubt instantly knew that if he was offering I wanted to go along for the ride. 

God knew at that point, but we sure didn't, that we had just begun a 30 year journey. I'm glad we were friends for so long as that allowed us to get to know each other without the pressure of being romantically involved. 

So thankful for 27 years of being married to my best friend. 

Happy Anniversary to us!

Becoming Keith's wife

Years ago at the beginning of my freshman year of college, someone asked if I planned to go all four years there. At the time four years sounded like a huge amount of time and I could no more imagine committing myself for four years than I could see myself sailing around the world. Instead I planned to take one year at a time. (I ended up going to that college for five years.)

1983

27 years ago today I stood before a minister and guests and committed to spending the rest of my life with a green-eyed bearded Norwegian from Iowa. Aware of the length of a lifetime in vague general terms but totally unable to fathom the logistics of living with someone else for the rest of my life.

1984 - on our honeymoon

27 years is a long time. But when I talk to someone who's been married 

for 50 years, I can't wrap my mind around being married that long.

1993

27 years

Four states.

One son.

Six daughters.

2003

27 years of 365 days with three meals a day adds up to 29,565 meals. I didn't keep a tally so there's no way to know how many meals I didn't cook when we went to Taco Bell, or to a friend's house, or to a church potluck, or bought TV dinners, or I didn't feel like cooking. Just to be on the safe side, I can say that I've cooked at at least 20,000 meals since saying "I do."

2005

Not the most romantic thoughts on an anniversary, but marriage is sharing a life and life is composed of good days and bad days, a little special and a whole lot of normal, high points and low points, flying high and scraping bottom, sometimes stretching and occasionally breaking.

If you were to ask me when I became Keith's wife I would say July 7, 1984. But in all honesty, I'm still becoming his wife. We're not the same people we were 27 years ago. We've learned and grown and matured and regressed. We've experienced amazing moments of emotional intimacy and frustrating episodes of dumb-founding stupidity.

2006

So I'm up for the next 25 years, though the thought of gout, and walkers, and hardened arteries, and loss of memory, hair, and hearing, and Keith getting bushy eyebrows and ear hair is a bit scary.

2010

I'm thankful for 27 years of being married to to the one man out of the 3.5 billion males on the earth that belongs to me. I'm thankful that we didn't give up when things got hard and that he doesn't snore is also a definite plus.

I love you, Keith, even if you don't like sharing your Kindle with me.

Happy Anniversary

Then and Now

Happy Anniversary to us!

Seems just last month we celebrated our 25th. Now another year has rolled around. Christina blessed us with a gift certificate to Keith's favorite restaurant so we had a nice evening out. Anniversaries are fun except for the unavoidable fact that they mean we're getting older.

If you have any interest in viewing the archives, you can read what I wrote last year in honor of our 25th anniversary:

Peek Into the Past
First Date
Popping the Question
When Worlds Collide

July 1984


26 years later - July 2010

When Worlds Collide

One last post in my wedding anniversary series this week.

July 7, 1984 - Littleton Bible Chapel, in Littleton, Colorado.

Keith and I stood before the minister and all our family and friends.

I listened impatiently as the minister talked about the symbolism of wedding rings. He said people often comment that a ring is round and has no beginning or end, and is made of precious metal so is strong and enduring.

But he wanted us to impress upon us that our rings say to the world and to us, "We have chosen. There are no other options. When hard things happen and dark days come, our rings remind us that we made a commitment before God and man to be husband and wife and there are no other options."

This was a happy occasion and I didn’t appreciate the minister being so negative. Didn’t he have any better advice for us on our wedding day?

I have since recognized his wisdom. He knew there would come a day when the novelty of being married would wear off and our wedding shoes would start to pinch.

We had been warned about the things that usually irritate newlyweds, like leaving the toothpaste cap off or not putting the toilet seat down.

Those things were nothing. But can you believe Keith wanted to sleep almost year round with the window open? And have a striking mantel clock in our bedroom that went off every blessed hour all night long? He couldn’t get over that I slept with socks on and tucked the sheets in different that he did. Then there's the whole Miracle Whip versus Mayonaise debate.

He made me get rid of the two big stuffed teddy bears I’d slept with before we got married. He said the stuffed leopard head that I’d had since my twelfth birthday and had used for years with great delight to play practical jokes on people, was ratty and falling apart and threw it in the dumpster.

He was restless and intense and battled depression. How had I missed that in the two and a half years we dated?

When he said when we were dating that he didn’t like camping, he meant that he didn’t like camping. Camping is the funnest thing ever. How could he not like camping? Or backpacking? Or not want to go to the Grand Canyon? Oh my goodness, what had I done?

I had been raised by a father who loved being outdoors. We took countless day trips to the river, ocean, lakes, state parks, local playgrounds, and berry picking outings. Scenic drives, taking time to smell the roses and stop at scenic overlooks or historical points of interest. We took numerous camping trips, even camping the entire summer of my fifteenth year.

Keith had been raised by a very nice man who was a traveling salesman. So when he had vacation, he liked to stay home.

We had different viewpoints on music, TV, books,finances,  housecleaning, parenting, and vacation to name a few.

I drove Keith nuts with my tardiness and spur of the moment ways. Mealtimes were whenever. Housework got done when I felt like it, which was usually before company came over. Laundry was hit and miss. He wanted order and routine and complained that no two days in our home were alike. I couldn’t for the life of me see why that was important.

The personality test we took ten years ago showed we are complete opposites. Surprise, surprise.

So what to do? Suck it up and make the best of it? Hope and pray the other person changes? Live in separate houses?

Time and time again, I hear those words in my mind, "You have chosen, there are no other options."

I know now that it is normal for there to be bumps when two worlds collide. We came from two different states, cultures, religious backgrounds, and socio-economic levels. We had different personalities, temperaments, interests, dreams, and likes and dislikes. It’s only natural that there would be some painful moments as we adjusted to each other and learned to make it work.

I know there is no one on the face of the earth who would make me happier. Because every person on this planet is flawed and if they didn’t have Keith’s faults, they would have their own. We aren't designed to find complete fulfillment in another person. God wants to fulfil and complete me. Only God can fill the hole in my heart.

So I pray for wisdom and patience and the ability to forgive. I try not to do things that irritate Keith, some days succeeding, some days not. I try to have thicker skin and not take offense. I enjoy the good days, thankful for the sun, knowing it won’t always be shining.

I focus on Keith’s good qualities. His simple, loyal, faithful, stable, steadfast ways. His ability to fix almost anything. His fun, loud laugh. His comfortableness with old people. His love for his children.

So when we butt heads or he growls about something I think is no big deal, I try to keep in perspective the big picture. That he’s a good man and has brought many good things to my life. That we’re committed to each other and God willing, we hope to finish the course. That this world is not our home, and one day we will be perfect people in a perfect place and the things that bothered us down here won’t be issues anymore.

Until then, we firmly believe through good days and bad that we have chosen and there are no other options.

When we said, "I do,"God said, "I did." And that’s good enough for me.

Happy Anniversary to Us

Today is the big day. As of 2 p.m. mountain time Keith and I will have been married 25 years.

Keith is a good man and a good father and I'm thankful for all we've learned through our ups and downs over the years. I'm also tickled that our anniversary falls on such a wonderfully odd date - 7/7/09. Life is good.

In honor of this occasion I made a four minute slideshow. If you click the box in the bottom right corner with the four arrows, the slideshow goes screensize.

Thanks for being a part of our lives.

Celebrating 25 Years on PhotoPeach

Popping The Question

The theme of my last few posts has been Keith and I's 25th wedding anniversary tomorrow. So far I've documented the phenomena that occurred when the life of a shy young responsible man from rural Northwest Iowa intersected the life of a friendly irresponsible young girl from Northern California.

This post shares an imaginary conversation that may or not have taken place way back then.

"Would you please marry me and live five miles north of a small town in Northwest Iowa, on eight acres, in a 100-year-old farmhouse with seven children, seven cats, and two dogs?"

If Keith had asked me this question twenty six years ago, would I have said yes?

Would I have knowingly embraced a life of messy cars, muddy shoes, mountains of laundry, bushels of socks, noise, chaos, laughter, tears, painful lessons, joy, and love? If we had the ability to see into the future would we choose our present lives?

I'm guessing not having even one child, and being deeply in love, I would have naively responded, "Oh sure, seven children’s no problem. We could have more if you'd like."

Keith continues, "I should probably tell you people will forever be making jokes and remarks about the size of our family. We will have more children than most people we know. We will win the prize at our High School reunions for having the most children. We will receive unsolicited, sometimes rude, advice on family planning. People we hardly know will constantly ask, "Are you going to have more?"

We will not have nice things. We will live in old houses, drive old cars, shop at garage sales, buy in bulk, and cook from scratch. We will change over 10,000 diapers before all is said and done. We will never have an empty nest. We will be staring at 60 when our youngest child graduates from high school. We will have toddlers while our friends have grandchildren. Our life will never be normal".

And I wouldn't have wanted to miss it for the world. "Why yes," I'd have said. "I thought you'd never ask."

Peek Into The Past, Part 2

As I mentioned in the last post (click here to read), Keith and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary next Tuesday. Some wives give their husband cards. Not me, I write a series of blog posts. Keith probably prefers a clean house, but where's the fun in that?

This post makes more sense if you read Part 1 first. Yesterday I attempted to show that momentous day almost three decades ago when a serious responsible Midwest Scandinavian ex-Marine met at college a scattered free-spirited, sometimes goofy outdoor girl from California. And the rest is history.
_________________________________________________

A Year and a half after Keith and Angie met - Playing backgammon

ANGIE - "Did you get your history paper done?"

KEITH: "Two weeks ago. Did you?"
ANGIE: "Yes and no."

KEITH: "What’s that mean?"

ANGIE: "This is my third time taking the class. I flunked the other two times so I already wrote this paper last year. I just need to find it, retype it when I get home after the basketball game tonight and it’ll be ready by tomorrow."

KEITH: You flunked history twice? Never mind, I don’t want to know."

ANGIE: I suppose you’ve never flunked a class.

KEITH: I am on the dean’s list.

ANGIE: (laughs) So am I.

KEITH: (looks skeptical) How?

ANGIE: I didn’t say which Dean’s list. I’m on academic probation. But from now on I’m done goofing around.

KEITH: Doesn’t make much sense to pay for classes and not pass them

ANGIE: (drops her backgammon piece on top of Keith’s piece, makes an annoying sound, and sends him back)

KEITH: I hate it when you do that.

ANGIE: I know. That's why I do it. (folds her arms and leans back) There’s a girl in my dorm who’s interested in you.

KEITH: Don’t start that again. I’m not interested.

ANGIE: Why not? She’s nice, straight A student, ex-military, very responsible, and always on time. She’s perfect for you.

KEITH: I can pick out my own dates, I don’t need your help.

ANGIE: Ooohh, so you have picked someone out. Who is it? Come on, you can tell me.

KEITH: Would you stop it?

ANGIE: Your face is red. You are interested in someone. I knew it! Please tell me. I promise I won’t tell anyone. Who is it?

KEITH: Hem…haw…umm

ANGIE: Who?

KEITH: Well…I…er….hem…haw.

ANGIE: Come on, spit it out.

KEITH: (opens his mouth and shuts it, starts and stops) "Well…if you want to know, it’s you."

ANGIE: (visibly surprised) her mouth opens and shuts. "Me? No way."

They stare at each other at a loss for words. Keith finally speaks, "Would you like to go out Friday night? I want to get to know you better."

ANGIE (still in shock) squeaks out, "Okay."


First Date

ANGIE: (gets in Keith’s blue Volkswagen Beetle) - "Sorry I’m late. You been here long?"

KEITH: 20 minutes

ANGIE: But it’s only 7:05.

KEITH: I got here 15 minutes early

ANGIE: I’m so sorry. Well, lets get going.

KEITH: You forgot to put on the seatbelt.

ANGIE: I didn’t forget. I don’t wear seatbelts.

KEITH: In my car you do. We’re not going anywhere til you put the seatbelt on.

ANGIE: Oh fine. (Takes seatbelt and looks at it puzzled.) I’ve never seen one like this before. How does it work?

KEITH: Figure it out

ANGIE: (Sighs.) After several unsuccessful tries, she mutters, "This is the wonkiest seatbelt I’ve ever seen. Can you help me with this stupid thing?"

KEITH: (reaches over and latches it into place) "There. Don’t know what’s so hard about that."
____________________________________________

And so the adventure began. From that auspicious beginning I began to loosen Keith up and he stablized and grounded my life. I even managed to make the right dean's list my senior year. We dated 2 and 1/2 years before getting married.

And now 25 years later, we're celebrating that I was nosy and liked to tease, that Keith worked up the nerve to ask me out, that I didn't get offended at his brusqueness on our first date, that we learned to live with each others quirks and annoying qualities, that we didn't give up in the hard times, and that we're still best friends. That we stayed together for richer and poorer, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health. I'm still late half the time, but I'm better than I was. Maybe in another 25 years...

Peek Into the Past - Part 1

In 3 days, 1 hour, 21 minutes and 40 seconds (Central Time) on Tuesday, July 7, 2009 Keith and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary.

So for kicks and giggles let me take you back to 1980 when we first met at college in Morrison, Colorado which is a smidge southwest of Denver. Little did we know that first day we met what the future had in store.

I have taken a little literary license, but this is more or less the way it happened. This won't be the most exciting thing you've ever read, no soundtrack or high-budget special effects, but we can't all be as interesting as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I'll finish the story in my next post.

Scene 1

KEITH - (Fresh out of the Marines, responsible and disciplined written all over him, checks his watch and knocks on an office door. Walks in and sees a guy sleeping, tipped back in his chair with his feet on the desk.) Wakes the guy to ask, "Is orientation today? I thought it started at 10:00"

LAID BACK COLLEGE STUDENT: (Yawns) "More or less. Most people won’t start trickling in til this afternoon. What’s your name?"

KEITH: "Keith Vik"

COLLEGE STUDENT: "I’m Tom Bennett, (shakes hand) Where you from?

KEITH: "Rock Rapids, Iowa."

TOM: "Just get into town?"

KEITH: "Got in last night. Wanted to make sure I was here on time."

TOM: "Where’d you sleep?"

KEITH: "Hotel."

TOM: "You could have stayed here. Anyway, here’s your room key. See you around."


SCENE 2
Keith sits at table reading newspaper.

GIRL #1 (approaches him) "May I sit here."

Keith lowers newspaper long enough to nod and then goes back to reading.

GIRL #1: "I’m Kelly, what’s your name."

KEITH: (mumbles) "Kmgheth"

GIRL #1: "What?"

KEITH: "Kweitshqu" He stands up and walks off without another word. Keith accidentally bumps into another girl. "Sorry," he mumbles.

GIRL #2: "No problem. I’m Suzanne, what’s your name?"

KEITH: (looks everywhere but at her and mumbles) "krtysge"

GIRL#2: "What?"

KEITH: "Kzxcvb" (scurries around her to class)




SCENE 3 - Two days later.

KEITH: (walking, wearing high water pants, polyester shirt, sporting a growing out Marine high and tight haircut, complete with whitewalls around the ears, carrying an armload of books. He stops to watch a girl in a hippie-like flowing dress and high heels, attempting with a young man to carry a desk down a small hill. ) He rolls his eyes, and asks in a condescending tone, "Need help?"

GIRL: (looks over) "We’re fine."

KEITH: "But you’re wearing high heels."

GIRL: "I didn’t have time to change." Girl lurches and table dips.

KEITH: "Here, you might break an ankle. Let me help."

GIRL: "Fine, but we’re going all the way over to the girl’s dorm."

KEITH: "Why exactly are you moving the desk?"

GIRL: "I came a day late so got last pick of rooms. My small bedroom doesn’t have space for a desk. I put my dresser in the closet and asked for a desk, but since I got there late, had to move it myself from storage."

Keith and other young man drop the desk at her dorm room. Other guy takes off.

GIRL: "Thanks for helping. I really appreciate it. My name’s Angie, what’s yours?"

KEITH: "Keith Vik. Why did you get to orientation a day late?"

ANGIE: At camp this summer I met a girl on a backpacking trip who attends college in Chicago who offered me a ride here. But she lived in southern California and I lived in Northern California. At the last minute I found a ride to Southern California. I met up with my friend, and then we drove to Tuscon to visit her Grandma. We camped along the way and saw the Grand Canyon, and Four Corners, and camped some more and then she dropped me off here one day late on her way to Chicago."

KEITH: "Let me get this straight. You went from Northern California to Colorado by way of Tuscon."

ANGIE: "Yeah, wasn’t that neat how everything worked out?

KEITH: "That’s one way of looking at it. I need to go study."

ANGIE: "But school hasn’t started yet."

KEITH: "I’m getting a head start."

ANGIE: "Thanks again. Nice meeting you."

Tune in tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion to this highly suspenseful story.