Thursday, June 3, 2010

Choosing Shovels


I wish there was a hotline that indecisive people could call and ask for advice. Many times I tie my brain into double and triple knots and I just
want someone to tell me what to do. My brain is overloaded and my thought processes have imploded. Is there someone out there with functioning objective reasoning skills who can tell me what to do?

Situation:
1. We live in Wisconsin. My family lives in Ore
gon.

2. For a variety of reasons, my parents can't visit us, so we travel there every other year.

3. My seventy-one-year-old mother has various health issues and has been in an out of the hospital the last few years. We almost lost her four years ago and I really didn't expect her to live this long. She's been fighting a respiratory infection since December and has made four trips to the hospital.

3a. She's in the hospital again right now.

4. Kiah and I want to go for a visit. Kiah's got a soft spot in her heart for older people in general, and her Grandma in particular. Kiah's window to travel is June 13 to June 25 as she'll be camp counseling after that, and then going back to college.

5. Keith and Christina have work and can't go, Erica and Anna are working at a summer camp so aren't available, and Andrew's married now and can't go gallivanting with his mother. That leaves Kiah and the two youngest.

5. I've looked since March for good airfare. Usually if I wait long enough or look hard enough I can sniff out a reasonable price. But I've looked everywhere and can't find good prices. The longer I waited the higher it gets. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason why certain fares are higher than others, but right now there are no cheap midwest airfares to Portland, Oregon. I could fly to Florida or Washington D.C. cheaper than I could fly to Portland.


6. Keith suggested leaving Amy and Lani at home and fly with Kiah, since two tickets cost less than four. I want them to come. I want them to spend time with their grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. I like to travel with them. I like to do road trips. I like vacations.

7. My parents live in a small one bedroom mobile home and don't have room for four people to stay so we need to rent a hotel room which adds up pretty fast.

8. I have a $2000 budget which sounds like a lot but not when I have to buy $500 airplane tickets, rent a car, and get hotel rooms.


8a. If we use that money to go see her now and she dies in the next year, I will have already used the money budgeted for travel. Should I save the $2000 so we can all go to her funeral which only God knows when that will be? Then again, she could live another fifteen years.

8b. There's a pretty good chance that the money spent on this trip means there won't be money for a family vacation in August when Keith has time off. I feel bad spending all this money on two people.


8c. Kiah can't go in August when Keith has time off. Her only window this summer is in June. Besides that, Keith does not like Oregon. We lived there for four years when he was in seminary and developed a distaste for Oregon. He'll go if need be, but he would rather not.

9. Keith calls me "The Option Queen" and I have spent hours looking for the cheapest way to get four people to Portland and back. I've looked until I'm cross-eyed on Travelocity, Priceline, etc. at planes, trains, buses, and driving.

10. I finally decided to drive. At this point the cheapest option, besides leaving the little girls home, is to rent a car and drive. This sounds like fun, except I'm a BIG chicken when it comes to severe midwest summer thunderstorms and driving through big cities.


Are you still with me? I don't blame you if your eyes have glazed over.

Keith said I could do whatever I want but his preference is that I just take Kiah and fly. He's not comfortable with me driving that far. (Three days out and three days back - at least 4,000 miles)

So my quandary is do I do what I know he wants me to do - leave Amy and Lani home and fly, even though the tickets are outrageously expensive, or drive and take all three girls like I want to do? How do I honor my husband's wishes when he said I had a choice but I know what his choice is?

I've almost used up my two week advance purchase window for buying a plane ticket. If I don't buy tickets tomorrow the prices will be even higher.

So now that you've peeked inside my contorted thought processes, is there someone, anyone who can please tell me what to do? The sooner the better, if it's not too much to ask.

One of Keith's favorite sayings when I have a hard time making up my mind is, "I don't care what shovel you use, just pick a shovel and dig."

So if you were me, which shovel would you choose?


9 comments:

  1. Driving sounds like the better option...but really, it's up to you :) It does sound a little scary to be making the trek!
    ps. Thanks for the lovely comment on my blog. Your encouragement always brightens my day!

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  2. Ugh I'd hate making that decision aswell.
    I'd probably drive because I would like to take the girls along aswell. I'm not scared of driving in bad weather I just can't do it anymore due to vision problems.

    This didn't really help much huh?

    And regarding your husband's preference, it sounds like even though he wants you to fly, he's not going to be mad with you if you drive, right?

    It also sounds like this might be the last chance in a while for your girls to see their grandmother alive (that is really a horrible thought, I've been in that place before) so it's another pro for driving and taking them.

    Sorry for rambling! ;-)

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  3. Angie,
    My heart goes out to you. I live 700+ miles away from my family. I lost my dad last year to cancer. I remember being in a similar dilemma before he died. I believe that driving helps give you a sense of control in an uncontrollable situation. I will pray for your safe travel no matter what you choose.

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  4. It is a hard decision. Thanks for sharing with us. Let me tell you what you have told a hundred women, which has strengthened their marriage, and their faith. Let me tell you what you know is to be true; that the Bible is true and God can always be trusted. That God can provide the money you need later for the funeral. I believe he will. That God works through our fallable husbands. That eternal things happen when we walk in faith, and when we do what we know God wants vs. what we want. And that you will have a peace only if you choose one of the options above. Go and book your two tickets for June's end. Ps. I will still love you and call you my friend if you ignore my advice!

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  5. Wow! You DO analyze. So do I!!!! ;) I was thinking that you could rent a camper and drive that (and sleep in) but since you don't like to drive... I love road trips and love to drive. How about I come with and be your driver? Just kiddin! I live by Chicago.

    Do you have a GPS that you could use? Maybe it could reroute you around the cities.

    Pray for peace. Speak in faith. Believe God.

    Thank you for commenting on my blog post. I am frustrated. I was soooo spiritually high on Monday and then Tues. we got socked several blows all within a couple hours time. Since this is YOUR blog and not mine, I'll tell you what is going on.

    At our church, several wolves have come in and "stole" or "poisoned" people. We don't know what to do about it when we see that it is coming and then, it happens. Well, this time it is some of my family and 2 close friends - one of them is a deacon. My husband is meeting with the family half today so we will find out exactly what is going on. It's a very sick co-dependant relationship that they all have.

    Then, we found out that a conference we were going to go to was canceled. I was looking forward to it but I'll live.

    Then, we got a phone call and the owner of our house told us that he sold it. He wants us out in 3 weeks. He is totally going against the contract and some real estate people tell us that as renters, we do have rights. Oh boy... We want to do what is right in all of it.

    We continued to praise God through it all. OUT LOUD! We were in the car going on a mini day trip and we just sang praises.

    Not sure what God has in mind here.

    Blessings to you. Thank you for your "ear".

    Talk to your husband and go with your gut. Pray and listen.

    Love,
    Janet

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  6. I would drive if it is truly cheaper. It sounds like your husband's wishes are for you to go and see your mom. Yes, he may have a preferance of how you get there, but that's it- a preference. Probably because he'll be able to know much sooner that you're there safely. But if you go, and drive, you're not going against your husband's wishes. Plus, it sounds like driving can add a little bit of excitement to a sombering trip.

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  7. What a dilemma! I am totally NOT a driver so I would personally fly. My husband flies a lot for work and I am always trying to find the cheaper fares. Sometimes it's tough because they go up or down so fast.

    One tip...if you ever need to go to Orlando or Vegas there is an airport near Madison that the tickets are only $40. They only fly on Wednesdays and Saturdays though.

    Here's the website for that:
    www.allegiantair.com

    Good luck with whatever you decide...

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  8. Oh man! That is a really hard decision! I don't know which option you should choose! Sorry I'm NO help!

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  9. I think you should plan to drive and keep searching for airfare. Something might pop up at the last minute. You never know! Mostly, you need to just do whatever is going to bring you the most peace.

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