Good-byes Are Never Easy

(Picture source - Google Images)

Their picture is on my refrigerator.

Dear friends from college. Three months ago happy and whole.

Today, grieving the loss of husband and father.

Colleen and her three daughters had no warning. One day he was there and the next he wasn’t. Their world’s been turned upside-down.

He was only 49.

Though I hadn’t seen James much in his later years and didn’t know the man he had become, I knew him in his earlier years and had a part in his becoming.

1980 or 1981 - College Banquet

James was a novelty at college. He’d grown up a missionary kid in Mexico, so had graduated high school early and started college at 16. Good with cars, he breathed new life into an old Mercury Comet. He often carted me and my friends around.

He was responsible and worked hard to put himself through school. He was helpful, kind, and loyal.

He was also fun. I vividly remember going after hours to the empty parking lot of Cinderella City Mall in Englewood, Colorado in his Comet crammed full of people. On one side the parking lot had heaved in a long series of concrete rises. He drove really fast over the rises and we’d bump, bounce, and occasionally fly. Once a guy in the front middle seat threw up.

My fondest memories are the Spring Break road trips.

Six of us laughed, played Dutch Blitz, took two hour driving shifts, and drove the Comet twenty-four hours straight from Colorado to California.

After a week of visiting people, we hit Disneyland on a slow day so didn’t have to stand in long lines. We went on rides over and over again and our stomachs did loop-de-loops for hours afterwards.

We drove to Tucson to visit their families, quickly seeing where James and Colleen got their niceness from.

I feared we might die on our day trip to Nogales, Mexico. Mexicans are crazy drivers. James had learned to drive in Mexico so was totally in his element. He zipped in and out of traffic and I closed my eyes after the third close call.

We went shopping in Nogales. The aggressive vendors tried to take advantage of us since we were obviously American. James rattled off something in Spanish and they backed off.

While driving over Rabbit Ears Pass in Colorado, James and Colleen started to argue. To argue more discreetly, Colleen crawled on his lap. Us back-seaters exchanged worried glances, wishing James would argue later and pay better attention to the mountain pass!

We made the same trip the next year. We also took two road trips to Nebraska to visit a friend’s family.

1981 - Kearney, NE  (James on left, me - second from right)

Once James bit a green jalapeño-like pepper, saying it tasted great. I eyed the pepper suspiciously and asked if was spicy.

James said, “No, not at all. Try it. It’s really good.”

So I did and instantly burned my tongue. It hurt so bad. My eyes teared up and James roared with laughter. The stinker could bite hot peppers with a straight face.

Our group of friends drove to Tucson for their wedding. They were the first of us to get married. They were the first to have kids.

1984 - Kearney, NE

Eventually college ended and we went our separate ways. We’ve kept in touch the last three decades by Christmas letters. On my own road trip two years ago, I stopped by their house on my way home.

2010 - Kalispell, Montana

We picked right up where we left off. 

"The best antiques are old friends."

I didn’t know that would be the last time I’d see James in this life. But it’s not the last time I’ll see him. Though he’s my first friend to die, he won’t be the last. Someday I’ll see James and all my other Christian friends and family members again.

Thanks my friend for being a part of my life.  You’ll be missed.

Friends are friends forever

If the Lord’s the Lord of them.

--Michael W. Smith--