I wanted to marry a man named Joshua, but married a man named Keith.
I wanted three girls and two boys, but got six girls and one son.
I wanted to be a park ranger, but was a teacher, then a wife, then a Mom.
I wanted to travel in America, but we were given a trip to Turkey and Greece.
I found two girls for my twenty-year-old son to choose from. He chose his own.
I would have been content to live in Colorado all our married life, but we have lived in Oregon, Iowa, and now Wisconsin.
I asked God to help our church in Iowa get healthy. Instead he took us to a thriving, healthy one in Wisconsin.
I wanted to live in a one-level ranch house on the outskirts of the smaller town of Washburn, instead we live in a big old two-story house by Main Street in the bigger city of Ashland.
Time after time, I prayed for this and God gave me that.
I prayed over the years, believing God answers prayers in one of three ways: Yes, No, and Wait. Sometimes he gives me what I need and want, sometimes He doesn’t.
Sometimes my prayers aren’t really asking for God’s will. They are veiled requests for God to bless MY choices.
I never like to hear no. I’m just like my kids that way. And like my kids, I always want to know, “Why?” or “Why not?”
I look back on some things I wanted in the past, immensely relieved that God didn’t answer those prayers. Hindsight shows the glaring obvious reasons God didn’t give me what I asked for.
But other times He gives things I didn’t know enough to ask for.
Like with the list above, even though I hadn’t asked for wrong things, God still said, “No.”
Only this time, it was “No, because I have something better.”
God knows everything from beginning to end. He knew and loved me before I was born. He always has a reason for whatever He does or doesn’t do. He knows the big picture and how my story ends.
He is not capricious or random. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, good, loving, kind, just, merciful, righteous, holy, trustworthy, and wise. And in the midst of accomplishing His purposes and holding the universe together He takes time to lead and guide and answer my prayers.
While the following is easier said than done, that leaves me:
Seeking God’s will and His glory.
Trusting in His character, in His love, in His timing, and in His reasons.
And knowing sometimes God says yes, sometimes He says no, sometimes He says wait,
and sometimes He says no, because He has something better.
Oh, for grace to trust Him more.
