Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Collective Mother

I pick up my daughter from a friend's house and three extra kids. I pick up another daughter from another friend's house and leave with four more extra kids who don't mind double-belting so we all can fit.

We arrive at the local community swimming pool and a long line of kids pop out of our van, eager to be about their business.

I join two friends who had gotten away earlier. I stake out a spot and settle in. Gradually the mothers of the kids I brought to the pool trickle in and we form the collective mother. We sit in a row of plastic lounge chairs - sister-in-law Karen to the right, friends Lori, Laurel, and Shauna to the left.

We are busy Moms with many children. Our days are always full. Our nights are always short. We love our children and go to great lengths to meet their needs and make them happy. We carve time out of our busy days for the pool. The kids play, and we sit and rest and talk and laugh.

A child approaches with a need and one of us, doesn't matter if it's our child or not, will meet it. We dispense hugs, sunscreen, pool toys, snacks, and band-aids indiscriminately.

A tangle of kids play keepaway in the pool. Brothers, sisters, friends, cousins. Friendships formed from years of shared meals, sleepovers, camping trips, bike rides, Hot Dog roasts, broken arms, birthday parties, and watching movies, parades and fireworks.

Off to the side, Karen's granddaughter plays with Shauna's preschooler. Lori's daughter entertains Shauna's baby. My 24-year-old daughter plays with Laurel's two-year-old daughter they recently adopted from Ethiopia. Shauna's daughter takes Lori's youngest to the bathroom.

I'm only on vacation and appreciate this much more than my friends who come here all the time. This is worth driving eight hours for. The wonderful serving of friendship tastes so good and fills me up inside. I want to hold on to the moment and savor the sweetness of bright sun, splashing water, happy kids, and dear friends.

Two hours later it's time to go. We sort out kids, toys, and towels. We check and double-check for things left behind. We help get each other's kids into vans. The collective mother has dissolved for today.

They'll be back next week. I'll be back next year. But the blessing of fun times with good friends stays with me. I'm thankful and sad and wish this particular pool of water and friends wasn't so far away.

4 comments:

  1. I have been at this scene many times when my kids were younger. It was myself, and my sisters. Yep, it doesn't matter whose kid it is, we were all there for whatever they needed. I do miss those times. Now we are just starting with grandchildren. We will be back at the pool in a couple years.

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  2. I loved having you back. Everything's more fun with friends:)

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  3. It's so wonderful to have those relationships. I'm just learning to build them.

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  4. I love reading about your family adventures. It makes me wish I had a big family.

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